You can’t buy self-confidence; you can’t just turn it on by pushing a button on yourself or telling someone to become more confident. You can get it – only by working with yourself and your thoughts every day. The awareness that “I can” needs to be trained daily in the same way as muscles.
We have to deal with our internal criticism and self-doubt, which constantly reminds us that we are not good enough. Every criticism, bad thought, negative comment on social networks, a failed joke or a teasing comment from a friend threatens our confidence in our abilities, which means that we have to take responsibility for building our own beliefs.
A simple confidence building formula
Inspirational quotes, theories of pop psychology that are so widely discussed in society that many now consider them to be pure truth. However, if studied more closely, it becomes clear that they have evolved from myths. Self-confidence is only a temporary and transient way to build confidence.
Sounds a little unbelievable and weird, but, just like in math, there is one specific basic formula for finding and maintaining lasting self-confidence.
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with a broken brake.Maxwell Maltz
Three simple steps to build confidence
- Choose one thing you are afraid to do.
- Commit to doing so and do not allow yourself to find reasons to give up.
- The result – you will become more confident in yourself.
Steps to build your self-confidence
Of course, it’s easy to say – harder to do, so here are some first steps if you’re not ready to fight fear.
Take care of yourself
Your self-esteem depends on various aspects – good physical, mental and social health. It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you don’t feel comfortable in your body or you continuously lack energy. Find time for physical activity and healthy eating and sleeping habits.
And most importantly – allow yourself to do the things that make you happy, such as dressing the way you want to feel – put on a dress on a typical workday and don’t think about what others will think. Feed your soul by doing what you like and be with people who make you feel good.
Visualize yourself the way you want to be
Imagine the things that would make you the perfect version of yourself and make you feel proud of yourself. Then think about whether you don’t own those qualities. And if something is missing, how can you achieve it?
Control your thoughts
You can control your mind just as you control your body. Do you know those crazy thoughts that come to mind from time to time – the ones we can immediately give up because they are mad!? We should also learn to do this with thoughts that are perhaps more real but useless – those with which we despise ourselves and question our actions, therefore they kick down our self-confidence.
The next time something like this comes to mind, immediately answer, “Thank you, come on, but it’s not!” and move on to positive thoughts. If at some point you get caught up in your thoughts and say, “I can’t do this!”, Turn your thoughts to the other side and ask yourself, “HOW can I do this?”
Learn to be calm
Find your unique techniques to help you stay calm and feel more confident and practice them regularly.
There are millions of options to choose from, so try as much as you can to find the most effective: meditation, yoga, hypnosis, emotional freedom technique (EBT), which is the maintenance of a person’s energy balance, or Tai Chi Kung’s ancient practice focused on the spiritual body.
Warm tea before bed, bath, or relaxing shower, sunrise, your place of peace – all you have to do is find your own to boost your inner peace and self-confidence!
Pay attention to what makes you angry.
Evaluate what causes negative thoughts and feelings in your life. If you regularly feel unwell doing certain activities, then think – do you need it? You don’t always have to fight; if you don’t see the future and the meaning, it’s not worth torturing yourself. If certain people hurt you, reduce contact with them.
Don’t let the “signs” fool you.
When we question ourselves, we often see signs that seem to say, “This is not for me,” “I shouldn’t do it.” However, think carefully, if you were driving home and the car tire blew out on the way, you wouldn’t be wondering if it’s a sign that you have to drive somewhere other than home.
You would change the plan a bit and prepare something else for dinner. The same is true in life – you can change your life and perception, even if you have low self-esteem.
But remember one crucial point – you don’t need high self-confidence to achieve great things! Anyone can dream, and anyone can create their strategy, make a commitment and achieve their goals!
All you have to do is start dreaming about the life you want to embrace, start planning goals, what to achieve and how to do it!